Page 14-15!

The obligatory two-page spread!

Can even Nightstik take down this behemoth? Tune in next week and find out!

In a slightly unrelated rant, I went and saw Rogue One this weekend. No spoilers here, just an observation.

Everyone in the Star Wars Universe is a shitty parent and/or really bad at relationships.

Allow me to explain:

Take Anikin Skywalker. His mother “claims” he was essentially fathered by the force. I’m not buying it! Anikin’s father was probably a deadbeat pod racer that skipped his court date. I have no proof for this other then the only other guy fathered by a “holy ghost” was Jesus.

Anyway, Anikin’s mother just gives up her only son to guys she just met because that’s how the deal went down with the weird flying guy. What kind of mother gives her kid up? No wonder Anikin was all full of angst. Not to mention that the Jedi council pretty much says, “We don’t want him either.” Poor kid never had a chance.

So somehow, Padme falls for this guy who looks like she his age but is some how older?!She knows how this guy was brought up. She should know he’s going to be trouble, but what does she do? She gets knocked up, however it’s worth mentioning that at least Anikin and Padme were married. But rather than be a responsible father, what does Anikin do? He goes tearing off to the dark side of the force in an attempt to raise his mother from the dead.

His wife tries to talk him out of it, but instead in a real classy move, Anikin force chokes her only to be stopped by Obi-Wan.

Alas, Padme dies in childbirth. What to do with two children born into this horrible mess? Well, Leah gets to go off to Alderan where she’ll live the life of a princess. Luke is banished to Tatooine with his gruff aunt and uncle. Now, Obi-Wan could have stepped up here. It’s the least he could have done after horribly maiming Luke’s father. But no. Off to a life of moisture farming and bullseying womp rats in Beggers Canyon.

Fast forward to the Star Wars trilogy. Here we’re treated to Darth Vader hunting down his own son, cutting Luke’s hand off, and threatening to turn his daughter to the dark side. But it’s all good because after Luke kicks his ass, Vader finally does the right thing and saves his son from the Emperor. So everything’s fine now right? Wrong! Luke wouldn’t have needed saving if Darth Vader hadn’t endangered his son in the first place. Secondly, Leah and Han hook up.The Force Awakens shows how that worked out. Han was probably off fucking around with wookies instead of raising his kid. In fact, Leah states, “That’s why I sent him off with Luke…” Yeah, another woman who gives her kid up. That worked out so well the first time.

And now here we are with Rogue One. The movie opens with yet another couple who give their child up for the kid’s own good. So the guy is like this awesome military scientist? You mean the guy that built the Death Star was just hanging out with no defenses set up?

And yet another kid is forced to grow up alone, meeting her untimely demise, dying for the good of the rebellion.

Oh, I did enjoy the movie. Three stars! It could have used a little more Vader ass kicking, but it was still good. Can I get a hell yeah for a Vader stand alone movie where he hunts down the remaining Jedi? James Earl Jones isn’t getting any younger!


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